Give me Your Eyes for just one second...

Looked down from a broken sky
Traced out by the city lights
My world from a mile high
Best seat in the house tonight
Touched down on the cold black top
Hold on for the sudden stop
Breath in the familiar shock
Of confusion and chaos
All those people going somewhere,
Why have I never cared?


Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken hearted
Ones that are far beyond my reach.
Give me your heart for the ones forgotten
Give me your eyes so I can see
Yeah


Step out on a busy street
See a girl and our eyes meet
Does her best to smile at me
To hide what's underneath
There's a man just to her right
Black suit and a bright red tie
Too ashamed to tell his wife
He's out of work
He's buying time
All those people going somewhere
Why have I never cared?


Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken hearted
Ones that are far beyond my reach.
Give me your heart for the ones forgotten
Give me your eyes so I can see
Yeah


I've Been there a million times
A couple of million eyes
Just moving past me by
I swear I never thought that I was wrong
Well I want a second glance
So give me a second chance
To see the way you see the people all along


Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken hearted
Ones that are far beyond my reach.
Give me your heart for the ones forgotten
Give me your eyes so I can see
Yeah

-Brandon Heath

Separation and Restoration

Separation.... no, it's not the same thing as divorce. Seperation isn't permanent. It's a break, but it's clean. It can be healed, put back together..restored.

Separation from God can be restored. Separation from friends can be restored(those that are forgiving of course). Separation from your spouse can be restored(if you want it to, that is).

Memories cannot be restored. Loss of time cannot be restored. Hurt and pain cannot be taken away.

No matter how many times I apologize, my friends will never forget the times I've hurt them. It is not in our human nature to forget. Forgive-yes. But not forget. Respect has been lost, and so has trust, and these things will not be regained quickly. Do I have a right to be angry at the lack of trust? No! I've learned this from my marriage. Once trust is broken, especially again and again, it is so delicately and carefully regained. If trust is broken again and again and again, the severance becomes jagged and broken pieces are scattered. That trust will never be regained. It is then that you must decide whether love is enough to thrive on for the rest of your life. No. Not for me.

There was no innocent party in my marriage, but one was worse.

There were no innocent parties in our friendships, but one was worse.

There is no excuse worthy of neglect, thankfully God has forgiven me for those I have afflicted.

So now I take baby steps. I read my bible, even though I woke up late this morning. I prayed. I sit on the floor with my son and hold him while he watches Yo Gabba Gabba. I cry over this blog I'm writing. I apologize. I have no sense of money or time management. I need a teacher, someone to guide me. This will come in time.

Who am I now? I have no idea. I have no idea what I am/am not capable of. I know that God has a plan for me, and though I don't feel it right now, I choose to believe it's there. And this I will hold onto. This I will trust. I can trust again. Can you?

Elijah's First Beach Trip!

We went to Florida and met Aunt Rose, cousin Karyn, and little Dominick in Palm Coast and had a BLAST! We went to Daytona Beach, Flagler Beach, Orlando(Elijah went TWICE!) and layed out at the pool a ton(got a GREAT tan!). It was so nice to spend time with the family and officially introduce them to little Elijah! They seemed taken with him and he had a good time staying in the hotel with Aunt Kristin and Aunt Kerri and playing with them. He got a little than on his legs and he LOVED the sand! He kept trying to eat it! Brandon took him to Animal Kingdom on Saturday and he got his picture taken with Mickey, Tigger(who is my fave!), Pooh, and Eeyor! Brandon said he loved all the characters and wouldn't stop staring at one to look at the next! He said he especially loved Mickey's nose and grabbed it first thing(which we are buying a picture of on the website asap!). He was very good on the ride also, he hardly cried and he got lots of nap time in. Of course it helped that Uncle Sebastian and Aunt Kerri were in the backseat entertaining. We'll be doing it again soon, that's for sure!!!

It's been a while!!!(update)

Wow! What's NOT new??? Good news first:

Elijah is a mobile man! He's crawling and pulling up on his feet-all in one week! He thinks he's grown! We've been baby proofing as much as possible but he's still managed to pull a loose entertainment center door on his little head. No bruises or bumps-just a little crying! He goes for his next dr's appt on the 20th-that'll be 9 months! So I'll be posting about that soon.

Bad news: Brandon lost his job last Monday-so I've picked up a second(yes, second) job at Indigo Joe's here in Greenville trying to make ends meet. B/n my new job and school I cherish every moment I have at home with my baby. Brandon is looking hard for a new job(any suggestions are appreciated!).

Vacation: Despite our financial issues, we still want to liver our lives, so we're trying to continue going to Fla at the end of April to meet up with Brandon's cousins Karyn and Dominick, and his aunt Rose! We hope to see them and have them meet Elijah for the first time! They live in NY so obviously Fla is alot closer.

Nothing else is new-school is going well. Makeup has been my fave part so far so I'm working on doing wedding/birthday/prom makeup. My b.f. Jenn got married last weekend(I was a bridesmaid!) and I did most of the wedding party including her. Everyone looked beautiful.

Pictures:




Make sure you check out my youtube link for crawling and laughing videos!!!

Everybody's got em...

Just because I'm Christian means I'm closed minded? In my shameful past, I've done many drugs-and reaped the consequences. I've had sex before marriage, I've cursed, listened to tacky music, and done other incredibly stupid things. BECAUSE I know first hand the consequences of these things, I choose to believe that we shouldn't do them. Is that wrong? Can't I state that? Why can one person state that they LIKE to do them, but I can't state that I don't? Why am I labeled "judgemental" for letting someone know the way I run my own life? I don't get it...

Hallelujah by Paramore

Somehow every thing's gonna fall right into place
If we only had a way to make it all fall faster everyday
If only time flew like a dove
Well God, make it fly faster than I'm falling in love

This time we're not giving up
Let's make it last forever
Screaming, hallelujah
We'll make it last forever

Holding onto patience wearing thin
I can't force these eyes to see the end
If only time flew like a dove
Well, we could watch it fly and just keep looking up

This time we're not giving up
Let's make it last forever
Screaming, hallelujah
We'll make it last forever

And we've got time on our hands
Got nothing but time on our hands
Got nothing but, got nothing but
Got nothing but time on our hands

This time we're not giving up
Oh, let's make it last forever
Screaming, hallelujah
Hallelujah

It's Thursday!!!

We've had a busy, busy week!!! I finally got Eli's footprint and handprint done with the clay model Deb sent us right after Eli was born and it's now drying. This morning we woke to a mondo poop diaper that spread from his neck to his ankles(no I'm not exaggerating!) and he proceeded to stick his hand in it and rub it on the curtains(waaaahooo!)! We have a nutrition class this morning and depending on how that goes we may/may not go to Shanna's for lunch. Wow-as I'm writing this my husband just called to inform me that next week he'll be out of a job! We need lots of prayers! I did want to share a cute picture of elijah I took this week for St. Patty's day: